The Parables of Grief episode 2, The Parable of the Dragonfly

After losing my husband, I discovered the profound healing power of stories. Join me, Mama Bear Wendy, as I share how a simple game inspired by Winnie the Pooh became a cherished tradition and a symbol of enduring love. Together, we explore comforting parables, such as the touching story of dragonflies that beautifully illustrates life's transformation beyond grief. With inspiration from Jeffrey R. Holland's words about angels, this episode promises to be a heartfelt journey that seeks out solace and the quiet presence of the Savior in our everyday lives.

Navigating grief is a deeply personal journey, and I am here to assure you that you are not alone. This episode is an invitation to find support and hope in shared experiences and to find resources that can aid in your healing process. Visit my website, mamabearwendy.com, for information on upcoming grief groups and one-on-one support opportunities. Let us walk this challenging road together. With a virtual embrace, I offer companionship, solidarity, and a promising that, while the path may be difficult, it is shared. We never walk in solitude.

The information provided on this website is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional psychological advice. If you are experiencing mental health issues, please consult a licensed therapist or other qualified healthcare provider.

Transcript

Hello friends, this is the Parables of Grief podcast and this is your host, Mama Bear Wendy, I'm here to share some love and light with you on your journey through grief and loss. I hope, as our healing paths connect for the next few minutes, we can walk together and find strength for the road ahead. One scientist suggests that what the grieving need most is to have others witness our pain and help us not feel so alone. I hope in our time together you will find the companionship and understanding that you need. The intention of this podcast is to use parables of grief to find the Savior and His promised healing in the daily and commonplace, to see how we are truly never alone and to find, like the disciples on the road to Emmaus, the Savior by our side, even if we didn't recognize him at first, because he showed up in unexpected and common ways. Also, there is much coming soon to help with your journey. The Parables of Grief book will be coming out by Christmas of 2025, and there are opportunities to join me in online grief groups and one-on-one companion sessions. Please check out my website at mamadbearwendy.com for more information. Good morning friends here to share with you a new parable. Today we're going to talk about the parable of the dragonfly. 

There are lots of parts of this story, but we're going to start out first with a quote. This is from Jeffrey R Holland in October of 2008. He says From the beginning down through the dispensations, God has used angels as his emissaries in conveying love and concern for his children. Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are, but seen or unseen. They are always near. Sometimes their assignments are grand and have great significance for the whole world. Sometimes the messages are more private. Occasionally the angelic purpose is to warn, but most often it is to comfort, to provide some form of merciful attention, to provide some form of merciful attention, guidance in difficult times, and that's from the Ministry of Angels. 

So this story has three parts. The first part is something that our family has done for many years. We used to hike quite a bit, and one of the things that we would do is from the book the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. In it, winnie the Pooh and his friends play a game, and it's called Pooh Sticks, named after, of course, winnie the Pooh, and in Pooh Sticks what you do is you find a bridge or something that goes around a river and you each pick up something from the ground, hopefully a leaf, a stick again the name PooSticks right and you have a race with your item. So everybody throws theirs in on one side of the bridge and you run to the other side of the bridge and watch as it comes through, and whoever comes through first wins. So there is a second part of this story. So that's the Winnie the Pooh part. 

And then the next part of this story is a story that a friend of mine who lost her baby shared with me way before my husband died. It's the story of the dragonfly me way before my husband died. It's the story of the dragonfly, and in this story there are little water bugs that live underneath the water, and they all noticed that every once in a while one of them would leave, they would climb up one of the sticks to the surface and disappear, and they would never come back. And so several of them got together and they all made a pact that the next one that went up would then come back and tell everybody what had happened, so that they would be aware of where everybody was going. And so the next little while, whenever that next little bug climbed up and found out that he was then transformed and given wings, and he tried to keep his promise to his friends that he would come back. But unfortunately, because of his new state and his wings, he was unable to get back in the water like he had been before, and so he was unable to come and tell his friends about his change, and they would have to just find out for themselves as they too were transformed. This story has brought me a lot of comfort for many years. So that brings us to my own experience. 

And that was during the week before. So my husband had passed away, but we had not had the funeral yet. Blessedly, my son had come and his sweet wife had come and stayed with me, because everybody was quite worried about me. I was not doing very well and kind of dizzy, and a lot of times I was having a hard time standing up and anyway it was weird. So they were staying with me to make sure that I had other adults in the house, and they have dogs. They have two German short hair pointer puppies. At the time they were I don't know how old, maybe six months old, when my husband died. I think they were born in April-ish, but anyway. So maybe they were three or four months, but they were busy, busy, busy and they needed to be walked. 

And so we had gone up to one of the trails by our house that we had been many times, and my son and his wife had to go ahead with the dogs, and they had kind of left me behind because I was slower. And I got to the bridge and decided that I was going to play pooh sticks with my husband who of course was dead and so that was going to be a really weird challenge and experiment in trying to figure out what was still allowed in our relationship. And so I had picked up a stick and I had told my husband in my mind I would love it if you would play poo sticks with me and I'm going to drop the stick, and why don't you try and make a leaf fall or in some other way, have something fall into the water and we'll count that as yours. And so I had dropped my stick and watched very carefully, because there were many trees that were hanging over the river and nothing, anticlimactically, happened. I was quite disappointed and came to the other side of the bridge to watch as my solitary stick came out, and I was pretty devastated by the reminder again, that he was not there to play with me. And he was not there. 

It was very disappointing and as I'm watching my stick go down the river, a dragonfly came and, much to my surprise and great joy, my husband, in my mind, said I cannot come to you in the way you ask for or expect. I cannot come to you in the way you ask for or expect. Now, faith is required, and for faith to be there, it has to be unexpected. It cannot be the way you ask. But look for me in the unexpected. I learned many things that day. Once again, I learned that everything had changed, but that our relationship was not over and that although it had changed, it was not lost to me. I learned that miracles can still happen and through those miracles I can still be near my husband when I need him, that he can show up for me, and this idea of the dragonfly and him being represented by a dragonfly has come to have great meaning for me. Just because I can't see him doesn't mean he is far away or unavailable. I really like this quote. This is a second quote. This is by President Joseph F Smith, in April of 1916. 

I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separate from them. We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors who have preceded us into the spirit world. We cannot forget them, we do not cease to love them, we always hold them in our hearts, in our memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we cannot break. If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, how much more certain is it to believe that those who have been faithful, who have gone beyond, can see us better than we can see them, that they know us better than we know them? We live in their presence. They see us. They are solicitous for our welfare. They love us now more than ever, for now they see the dangers that beset us. Their love for us and their desire for our well-being must be greater than that which we feel for ourselves. 

If you would like more grief support, please see my website at mamabearwendy.com for upcoming grief groups and one-on-one opportunities. Although your experience and path will be unique, there is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk unique. There is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk this road together. Here is a big bear hug from Mama Bear Wendy. Until next time, thank you.